Sunday, October 20, 2013

On a Date with The Rolling Turd

The Rolling Turd. If you don't know what it is, the name says it all. I wish I had a picture to post of this one-of-a-kind car, but I'm pretty sure it broke all of the cameras we tried to use. Just try to picture this, ok? A super de duper old white (sorta) Dodge Spirit, paint peeling, rust forming, heard from a mile and a half away, random backfires, and it rattles like it's going to come apart any second.

The real advantage to having this car was that we could hear our parents coming home from a mile away, so we had time to turn off the TV and pretend like we were doing our chores the whole time they were gone. (They never knew....actually they did....I'm a really bad liar). I thought I was pretty sneaky though.

Just imagine my joy, when as a young, innocent 17-year-old girl, I had to take this car to drive my Preference date. Where this is the Girl's choice version of Prom, and everybody is fancy, just imagine how classy I felt rolling up to the dance in this piece of turd.

Just to get a better picture of this awful car, come back with me to when this car was my only source of transportation. I would be driving down the road, and it backfired and died. I would be turning left in the middle of a busy intersection, and it backfired and died. I would be crossing the train tracks, and it backfired and died. Are you sensing a pattern yet? Would this happen every time? No. Did it happen on my date? Of course. Not only did it backfire and die several times on the date, it always took several tries to start the car and my date turned to me while I was driving and asked if the car was going to break because it was rattling so loudly. How mortifying.

Although I really am grateful for all of the adventures caused by that thing (otherwise I would have had to walk everywhere), the point of this story is that kids these days have no idea how lucky they are to drive cars that work, look not like a piece of turd, have a stereo, and don't constantly put them in life threatening situations with their dates. The end.

Did you ever have to drive a car that you were embarrassed to drive or put you in danger by its quirkiness?


  1. Hey, I used to drive a really embarassing car we called the "Rolling Turd" as well! This old car (rest in peace - I mean pieces....) was quite the work of art indeed. I think my parents had that car to keep us humble. :)

    1. Yes. RIPieces. That's silly. Yes, that car sure taught us a bit about humility, right?

  2. I had an old and lame car! A 1989 Nissan Sentra that is stick shift! It was literally a metal box! It was insane to drive. It was like the oldest thing in the lot at school! I got rear-ended one time and there wasn't even a dent due to the nature of the old thing!

  3. I thought "On a Date with the Rolling Turd" was in reference to a crappy boy. Haha!

    When I was in high school, I had a friend with a crappy car she bought for $2 (seriously!) that didn't have power steering and we had to keep stapling the roof because it kept falling down on us. Also, one window couldn't roll up all the way, and the passenger door could only open from the outside. How reassuring.